We often judge ourselves harshly for not maintaining our routines, especially spiritual practices like meditation and yoga. But it’s crucial to show ourselves kindness and flexibility when we miss a practice.
Life is chaotic, unpredictable, and full of disruptions—career changes, moving, holidays, relationships, hobbies, and countless other demands. It's natural to have weeks where maintaining a routine feels impossible.
Even as someone who has practiced meditation for ten years and guides others in their understanding of the practice, I sometimes miss practice sessions and go through periods where my routines are less consistent than others.
Here’s what disrupted my spiritual practices this week:
Moving into a new house: unpacking, cleaning, and setting up furniture.
Starting a new job.
Taking on extra responsibilities at work.
Holiday shopping.
Cooking and meal prep.
Why Is There So Much Judgment?
Many spiritual practices and teachings were created in vastly different times and for very different contexts. Even books from just 30 years ago predate the digital age—no smartphones, no constant connectivity.
Modern life demands a level of adaptability that older frameworks might not account for. If your spiritual practices feel rigid or stressful, they’re working against their very purpose: to bring peace and relaxation.
Remember, life itself can be a meditation. The guru isn’t just on the mat or cushion—it’s everywhere. Whether in traffic, at work, or during a heated conversation, mindfulness can turn any moment into a spiritual practice.
Compassion as an Antidote to Judgment
When you miss a practice, self-compassion is key.
For many, love and compassion are the highest spiritual practices. Instead of treating spirituality like a checklist—where completing tasks makes you “good” or “worthy”—reframe it. Ask yourself: How can I be more loving to myself in this moment?
Spirituality isn’t about perfection — it’s about connection. And sometimes, the most spiritual act is to offer yourself grace.
Build a Spiritual Toolkit
Flexibility doesn’t mean abandoning structure entirely—it’s about creating a toolkit of practices to draw from based on what each day demands.
Feeling judgmental? Try a loving-kindness meditation.
Feeling anxious? Focus on your breath.
Feeling restless? Take a walking meditation in nature.
This adaptable approach often holds more value than rigidly sticking to the same practice every day. After all, it’s not uncommon to see yogis who religiously stick to their mats but lack kindness in their interactions. Or lifelong meditators who have yet to find peace.
The Hybrid Approach: Best of Both Worlds
There are seasons when a consistent routine can be deeply beneficial.
I often go through three-month periods of structured practice—whether it’s 60 minutes of Ashtanga yoga every morning, 20 minutes of meditation twice daily, or 15 minutes of qigong after work— only to see that structure completely flipped on end as the circumstances of my life demand something different.
I once asked my spiritual teacher, Mark, “What if my practice isn’t the right length?” He replied, “Pick a duration that feels right for your current circumstances. Then, in a few months, do an audit.”
I’ve found in my own life that, time and again, this is just what’s needed. As an example, in recent times, I had a very structured Ashtanga yoga practice going for 60 minutes every morning. I used to practice outside because my previous living situation lacked indoor practice space. But then the season changed and it was too cold to practice outside.
Additionally, I had to pick up an additional, quite physically demanding, temporary to job to help me keep up with my bills and cover some of my recent moving expenses, and I found that I was overexerting myself by continuing the yoga whilst pursuing this other job. So, I decided to omit my yoga just for the time being and focus on practices and routines that were less active and more restorative.
So, the key is to commit to what works for you while staying open to change. Life is always in flux, and judgment only adds unnecessary weight.
Practices Are Not the Destination
Routines and practices are tools—they point us toward connection and presence, but they are not the destination.
True spirituality lies in the here and now: being present with yourself, your spirit, and your surroundings. Whether you’re stuck in traffic, navigating workplace challenges, or simply sitting at home, every moment holds an opportunity to connect.
So, let life be your practice. Show up for it as it is—with all its messiness and unpredictability. After all, what could be more spiritual than embracing the wholeness of life itself?