This past weekend, Katy and I made our way to a potluck hosted by our friend Justin, someone I’ve long admired for his ability to bring people together.
We showed up with sweet potatoes and a bundle of firewood, and left with full hearts, nourished not just by the food, but by the people, the conversations, and a shared sense of presence.
There was already plenty of delicious food when we arrived. There was homemade soup, vibrant salad, and desserts that made us linger longer than we intended.
A Natural Community Builder
Justin has a gift. He’s one of those people who naturally cultivates connection. His gatherings are never just about socializing, but instead are containers for something deeper.
I first met him at a breathwork circle he was facilitating, then saw him again at ecstatic dance. Eventually, he even moved into the coliving space where I was living, and over time, I watched him host everything from men’s circles to guided meditations to authentic relating workshops.
The Practice of Authentic Relating
So it came as no surprise that halfway through the evening, Justin invited us into an authentic relating exercise. For those unfamiliar, authentic relating is a kind of interpersonal presence practice. You’re paired with someone, seated close, often knee to knee, and you engage in brief but intentional conversations using structured prompts.
One of the classic prompts is:
“I notice that…”
That simple phrase becomes a portal. To self-awareness, honest reflection, and direct connection. You might notice the way your partner’s eyes soften as you speak, or how your own chest tightens with nervousness. You might notice the smell of the campfire, or how warm it feels to be heard without judgment. And you say it. Out loud. To the other person.
At first, it can be awkward. In the early days of trying this, I remember feeling uncomfortable sitting so close to another man and holding steady eye contact. It felt a little too intimate. But with time, it became easier. And eventually, I came to appreciate the kind of grounded masculinity it invited.
Beyond Small Talk
In most social situations, small talk gives us a safe entry point. We ask about the weather, someone’s job, or where they’re from. But in authentic relating, there’s no time for that. You only have a few minutes with each partner, and you’re asked to drop in fast.
What you trade in comfort, you gain in depth. It’s a reminder that connection doesn’t always take time, it just takes presence.
Community as Spiritual Practice
Justin's facilitation, once again, gave me pause and inspiration. It reminded me why I started Journey Through Meditation in the first place—not just to explore solitude and silence, but to invite people into more honest, connected ways of being.
While much of my work focuses on personal mindfulness practices, I’m constantly reminded that growth also happens through community. Whether it's through meditation, shared meals, or practices like authentic relating, we are shaped in relationship—with ourselves, with others, and with the space between.
A Simple Evening, a Lasting Impact
As the fire burned lower and dessert plates emptied, there was a subtle shift in the air. People were talking more openly, laughing a little louder, and staying a little longer. That’s what happens when we’re given space to be real with each other.
I left that potluck deeply grateful. I was grateful for the food, for Justin, and for the reminder that connection isn’t something we stumble into by chance. It’s something we practice. And the more we practice, the more natural it becomes.